


The Last Goodbye

by Redskybluecherry



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, One Shot, Reader-Insert, Songfic, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 16:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20660540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redskybluecherry/pseuds/Redskybluecherry
Summary: But no matter what the morning would bring, you would stay strong this time. You would leave and finally choose yourself over him. This time, you wouldn’t give in.





	The Last Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "The Last Goodbye" by the Kills.  
As always, thanks for reading. <3

_It’s the last goodbye, I swear. I can’t rely on a dime-a-day-love that don’t go anywhere._  
  
  
There was no sound except the soft breathing of him next to you. It was a warm night, your sheets, already damp with sweat, clung to your skin. The ventilator next to your open window wasn’t helping, simply swirling up the already warm air inside your bedroom. Unable to calm the thoughts in your head as well as unable to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in, you sat up quietly, taking a look at the man beside you. For months now, you had known this relationship wasn’t good for you. Yet you were still holding on to every reason to stay in it, straining both your mental health and your social life.  
  
Your friends had warned you from the beginning. Eustass Kid was not a popular guy, he was known as a brute, a small-time criminal, a good-for-nothing. Young, naïve and just a little too attracted to all things dangerous and exciting, naturally you’d gotten involved with him. It had started out as a simple fling, then turned into being friends with benefits, getting drunk together from time to time and waking up next to each other the next morning. Then it turned into… the present state.   
  
You didn’t even know whether you could call it a relationship, you’d never made it official. Yet you knew it wasn’t just casual either. Kid was rare in his show of affections, if he showed any at all. It was his best friend Killer who’d encouraged you, who’d told you how often Kid mentioned you when you weren’t around, how there had never been a girl in his life beforehand that he had stuck with for so long.  
  
Only once had you said those three words to him. You’d been resting in his arms after a particularly passionate time in between the sheets, his head resting on yours, a cigarette in his hand. Somehow, they’d just slipped out, there was no reason for you tell him at this exact point in time, it just happened. He’d stiffened, then proceeded to pull your body into his, bringing you even closer than before. It was the only reaction you’d gotten out of him.  
  
That had happened 7 months ago. Kid had never said it back to you. You had never mentioned it again.  
  
You knew it would only agitate him or push him away rather than make him tell you. From the little he had told you about his childhood, you knew love wasn’t something Eustass Kid deemed himself worthy or capable of. Maybe that was why he had turned into the man he was now, maybe he’d convinced himself long ago that feelings would only tie him down, make him vulnerable, weak. Or maybe he’d just never been shown _how_ to feel.   
  
_I can’t get by on an odds and ends love that don’t ever match up._  
  
Sometimes, you wondered when your life had started slipping through your hands. You knew the answer, you knew it was the day you had let him become a part of it. But everytime said answer broke close enough to the surface for you to actually realize, you’d managed to push it back down. Kid had introduced you to various methods of doing so - unhealthy methods, which left your head reeling and hurting on the next day and your mind at a blank state.   
You were a mess. You’d failed all of your exams this past semester, and when you’d told your parents and your friends you would be “taking a temporary break” from Uni for a while, you hadn’t known whether you’d been trying to convince them or youself. A lot of your friends had tried to talk to you over these last months. You already knew what you should do. What would be the best for your health, your future, your life in general.   
  
After a long conversation with your best friend just a month ago, you were determined to leave him. You’d finally allowed yourself to consider the posibility of a life without him, and when you’d felt relief and joy rather than sadness, you knew it was the right decision. You’d already packed up some of your stuff, had told your best friend to pick you up the next day. You had been set on breaking up with him, you’d gone over what you were going to say to him so many times in your head.   
  
But something had happened.  
  
That night, he’d had a nightmare, screaming, tossing and turning until you’d woken him up and put your arms around him. Only after he’d long calmed down and you were well on the way back to sleep yourself, you’d heard his voice, so much warmer and calmer than usual:   
“Please don’t go.”  
You’d texted your friend in the morning, turning off your phone afterwards. You’d known she wouldn’t understand.  
  
Afterwards, everything had gotten even worse. You’d openly admitted to yourself that it would be better to leave, which was something you hadn’t ever done before. It had changed something within you. Instead of him, your thoughts kept drifting off to your future now. To all the dreams you’d flushed down the drain, all the expectations you’d put through the shredder just for the sake of being with him. You started talking to your friends again, told them about your feelings, for the first time in months.   
  
Before, it had taken only one moment of vulnerabilty from him for you to drop all your doubts and love him unconditionally. Now, you were starting to realize he was using said moments to lure you in before treating you horribly on the next day. Despite what Killer had said and what you were still feeling for him, what you would probably always feel for him, you were now convinced he’d never actually feel the same.   
  
_I can’t survive on a half-hearted love that will never be whole._  
  
Despite the inevitable hurt, it was what you needed to finally let him go. For good, this time. After quickly making sure he was still asleep, you checked your phone. Your best friend would be picking you up tomorrow, after your talk with him. You didn’t know how he’d react. Maybe he would lash out at you, try to devalue you, as he sometimes did when you got into a fight. Maybe he’d just brush it off and would try and act like it didn’t matter to him whether you left him or not.   
  
But no matter what the morning would bring, you would stay strong this time. You would leave and finally choose yourself over him. This time, you wouldn’t give in.  
  
As you laid down again, taking another look at him, at the crimson hair you loved to run your fingers through, at his expression, so peaceful and calm – which he rarely ever was, you could already hear the voices in your head, screaming and howling with masochistic laughter.  
  
  
_Liar, Liar._


End file.
